


Is That A Radish In Your Hair?

by AtowncalledMalec



Series: 30 Day Malec Smut Fic Challenge [30]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), malec - Fandom
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Alec, Bottom Magnus, Floor Sex, Food Sex, Fucking on the kitchen floor, Gay Panic, Kitchen Sex, M/M, Prostate Milking, Sex Magic, Top Alec, Top Magnus, What more do you need?, a couple of thirsty mofo's, bi panic, radish, reverse cowboy, stew, they hungry too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 08:34:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15837621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtowncalledMalec/pseuds/AtowncalledMalec
Summary: So, we all know that Alec had a radish in his hair when he made that stew but did you ever wonder how it got there? did you ever wonder why that stew tasted so bad? did you ever wonder why Magnus 'got' (had) to have the first taste?let's find out, shall we?





	Is That A Radish In Your Hair?

**Author's Note:**

> So, this wasn't a prompt, I just really wanted to find out why Alec had a radish in his hair. Like, how did it get there? and what the fuck did he put in that stew? and what do Malec taste like covered in...? 
> 
> I'll be in my corner
> 
> The song for this one is, Sacrifice- Black Atlass & Jessie Reyez

“Alexander, do you need some help?” Magnus asked when he opened the front door of the loft. He grabbed a handful of the bags from Alec’s overloaded hands. “What is all this? We aren’t feeding the 5000,” he said, chuckling at his own joke.

“It’s an old family recipe, Magnus, we need all this stuff, it says so in the instructions,” Alec said, stumbling into the loft under the weight of all the bags he was carrying. He made his way into the kitchen, gratefully dropping all of the bags to the floor.

“Instructions?” Magnus asked, his brow furrowed when he placed his bags with the rest and looked at all the stuff in dismay.

“Instructions, on how to make it,” Alec said, pulling his instruction cards out of his pocket and waving them in Magnus’ face.

“You mean the recipe?” Magnus asked, fighting his smile. Instructions, he was so cute! And panicking. He watched Alec root through the bags, his lips moving 1000 miles an hour as he took stock of the 100 ingredients he had brought with him.

“Alexander, calm down, I’m sure you have everything you need. If you don’t, I’ll conjure whatever you need,” Magnus said, unable to imagine what else they could possibly need.

“I’m sorry, Magnus, but you don’t know my mom, she’s… hard to please,” Alec said as he started unloading the bags onto the countertops. He didn’t see the incredulous look on Magnus’ face.

“Don’t I just know it?” Magnus mumbled under his breath. “I thought you were making beef stew?” he asked, pulling a tub of heavy cream out of the bag he was unloading and staring at it.

“Yeah, I am, why?” Alec said as he started on the next bag. He emptied it at the speed of light before turning to Magnus’ cooker, fiddling with the knobs and buttons until Magnus knocked him out of the way.

“Are you sure you’ve got the right “instructions” Alexander?” Magnus asked, switching the hobs on to heat up as he looked over the ingredients laid out on every surface. Potatoes and carrots he could understand but chillies? Cheese? Pasta? 

“Yeah, look beef… fuck! No no no…!” Alec muttered, spinning on the spot as his eyes wandered over the ingredients, it wasn’t there. “Shit! How the fuck am I supposed to make beef stew without any beef?” he cried, mentally kicking himself in the balls.

“Calm down, I can have an entire cow here with a wave of my hand,” Magnus said, snapping his fingers and handing Alec the glass of wine he produced. “Here, drink this and take a deep breath.” 

Magnus took the first card from Alec’s stack of “instructions” and read it through before snapping his fingers. “See, beef, there's no need to panic, my love,” he said, turning to see Alec standing with an empty glass in his hand. Huh?

“Thank you!” Alec said, grinning as he grabbed Magnus’ face and smacked his lips to Magnus’ cheek. He batted Magnus’ hand away from his ass with a chuckle as he turned to start preparing the ingredients.

“If you really want to thank me, I could think of plenty of ways, Alexander,” Magnus said, standing behind Alec and encircling his waist, letting his hands wander under Alec’s shirt to dance across his stomach.

“Magnus, behave! They will be here in 5 hours,” Alec said, grinning when Magnus tugged at a few of the hairs on his abdomen.

“Spoilsport,” Magnus pouted, pressing his lips to Alec’s neck rune before regretfully letting go. They could fuck 5 times over in 5 hours, he thought to himself. “You know I could just wave my hand, right?” He asked when Alec started hacking at some onions.

“No, I want to do this, Magnus. Izzy and I made this for my mom when we were kids, she loved it. It won’t be the same if you do it with magic,” Alec said. He looked up, feeling like an ass when he saw Magnus’ face.

“I’m sorry, it’s just, you know what she’s like, always judging. I know exactly how she likes it, this will get her on our side,” Alec said, forgetting the onions and wrapping his arms around Magnus’ waist. “Sorry, I just want it to be perfect,” he said.

“You need to relax then, you’re too tense,” Magnus said, emphasising his point by squeezing Alec’s shoulders where his arms were wrapped around Alec’s neck. He reached up on his toes and pressed his lips to Alec’s, grinning into the kiss when Alec’s arms tightened around him.

“At least take your jacket off,” Magnus said, pushing Alec’s leather jacket off when Alec laughed with a shake of his head before he sent it into the hallway with a flick of his wrist. He pulled Alec back against him, kissing his nose dimple.

“Um, speaking of clothes, are you gonna put some pants on when my mom comes? As much as I love seeing you in this, I don’t think my mom will appreciate it,” Alec said, bunching his fingers in the black satin robe Magnus was wearing, at the small of his back.

“I am wearing pants, Alexander. Unless you want me to take them off?” Magnus asked, raising his hand before Alec stopped him.

“I meant outside pants, something you can wear in front of your boyfriend's mom?” Alec said, unable to stop his eyes wondering down Magnus’ exposed chest under his open robe, and over the matching satin pyjama pants.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love seeing all this on display but I don’t want to share it with my family,” Alec said, pulling Magnus closer and pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the sensitive spot behind Magnus’ ear.

“Actually, I have a gorgeous new Dolce shirt I’ve been saving for a special occasion, I think this qualifies,” Magnus said, wrapping his legs around Alec’s waist when he was lifted up.

“Good, now, sit here and stop distracting me,” Alec said with a grin, sitting Magnus on the worktop and pecking at his pouting lips. He unclamped Magnus’ legs with a chuckle when Magnus tried to keep him there before turning back to the onions.

Magnus decided to distract himself from Alec by summoning each ingredient and inspecting it, one at a time, trying to keep himself occupied when he saw Alec wielding a knife like an expert. He frowned at some of the choices, trying to remember the last time he had eaten a stew that contained shrimp.

Magnus waved his hand, summoning the desert Alec had selected. Plain, boring vanilla ice cream, generic brand. Mother of demons! Alec didn’t even get the good stuff! His man had no clue when it came to shopping.

“What’s that face for?” Alec asked, tossing a few shrimp into the big stock pot he was using before his eyes darted back to his instructions. He swiped up the bottle of ketchup and started squeezing it into the pot before looking up when Magnus snapped his fingers.

“Try this ice cream, Alexander, it’s delicious,” Magnus said when Alec put the bottle down and pulled his tongue back into his mouth, he was so adorable when he concentrated like that! He opened the tub and dug a spoon into it, shoving a spoonful into Alec’s mouth when it opened.

“Omg! What is that?” Alec mumbled around the mouthful of ice cream, it was so good! He watched Magnus take a bite, licking the spoon slowly as he stared at him. Maybe he needed another taste, for science?

“It’s cappuccino ice cream with an espresso and dark chocolate swirl,” Magnus said, purposely letting some of the ice cream drip down onto his chest, acting like he didn’t notice when he took another bite.

“You’ve got some… let me just get that for you,” Alec said when he saw a line of Ice cream, running down Magnus' chest, dripping onto his stomach. He leaned down, licking the ice cream off, savouring the coffee/Magnus combination. Delicious! 

Magnus scooped another spoonful of ice cream out of the tub, pushing it into Alec’s mouth when his Shadowhunter straightened up. He grinned when Alec pushed in between his legs to taste it.

“It’s so good, where did you get it from?” Alec asked as he swallowed the ice cream down. He stepped closer, sliding his hands up the satin material of Magnus’ pants to wrap around his back as he watched Magnus take another bite.

“From Italy, where else?” Magnus said, pushing another spoonful into Alec’s mouth when he saw the hopeful look on his pretty face. He was running short on breath when Alec moaned, feeling Alec’s fingers tighten in the small of his back.

“Oh dear, you seem to have ice cream on your shirt, Alexander. Let me just get that for you,” Magnus said, snapping his fingers and removing Alec’s shirt in an instant, removing his own with a second snap. Much better, he thought as his eyes darted from rune to rune.

Alec jumped when Magnus missed his mouth with the next spoonful, dropping the freezing cold desert onto his shoulder instead. “Fuck, that’s cold!” he yelped before Magnus sucked the ice cream up.

Alec let his eyes fall closed when he felt Magnus’ tongue on his shoulder. He felt more goosebumps rise when Magnus’ teeth grazed his skin, his hands tightening around Magnus’ back, pulling him a little closer.

Magnus dropped another spoonful on Alec’s shoulder, smearing the spoon across his gorgeous collarbone before pushing another spoonful into Alec’s waiting mouth. He licked the ice cream off, sucking at Alec’s skin to make sure he got it all.

Magnus grinned into Alec’s neck when he felt his long fingers exploring, his hips bucking forward to grind against Alec’s stomach when he felt Alec’s hands squeeze his ass.

Alec was just getting a good handful of Magnus’ ass when an acrid smell filled his nose. His head whipped around to see smoke coming from the pot his beautiful stew was cooking in. 

“My stew! Its ruined,” Alec yelped, letting go of Magnus’ ass. He grabbed the wooden spoon and stirred it furiously, groaning when he had to scrape the burned bits from the bottom of the pot. Fuck! 

Magnus hopped down off the counter and looked in the pot, seeing charred black lumps floating in the questionable looking gravy. He waved his hand over the pot, snapping his fingers and watched as the burnt bits disappeared.

“Magnus Bane, I could kiss you!” Alec said, relief flooding him when Magnus fixed his stew. “You get to have the first taste for saving my ass,” he said, grinning at the look of excitement on Magnus’ face.

“I can’t wait, it smells… delicious,” Magnus said, fighting his face to smile at his boyfriend. He prayed to Raziel himself that it didn’t taste how it smelled, wondering whether it would kill him with the first or the second bite.

Alec stirred his stew, looking at the instructions for the next ingredient. He dumped a handful of bacon into the pot before grabbing the cayenne pepper when he looked at the next card, wondering what a TSP was. He shrugged and added half of the jar, should be enough, he thought to himself. 

“Taste this, it’s wonderful,” Magnus said when Alec moved the pot to the back burner on a low heat. He showed Alec the truffle in his hand when Alec turned to him, grinning when Alec’s eyes lit up before he shoved it in his own mouth.

“Hey! You know truffles are my favourite” Alec said, watching Magnus chew the truffle. “Are there any left or did you eat them all?” he asked with a pout, looking around for the bag.

“There might be a few more, you’ll have to find them first,” Magnus said with a grin, laughing when Alec pulled him in tight and kissed him, licking into his mouth. He was pretty sure Alec was trying to taste the truffle.

“Oh god, they’re those champagne chocolate truffles, from that chocolatier in Paris, aren't they?” Alec asked when he tasted it on Magnus’ tongue. He watched as Magnus showed him another one before trailing the melting truffle down his chest, watching the chocolate trail it left in its wake.

“I thought you wanted a taste, Alexander?” Magnus asked, watching Alec lick his lips. He hid his smirk when Alec pulled him in tight, dropping his head to lick the chocolate off his chest.

Alec watched the path Magnus marked his chest with, licking and nipping at Magnus’ skin as he gripped Magnus’ hips. He sucked Magnus’ nipple into his mouth when Magnus trailed the melting truffle over it, grinning at the moans coming from his Warlock.

Magnus smeared the truffle down the middle of his stomach, watching Alec fall to his knees to lick it off. His head fell back when Alec sucked at the sensitive spot on his hip, trying to remember when he had smeared some of the truffle there.

Alec gripped Magnus hips harder, trailing kisses along the waistband of Magnus’ pyjama pants. He watched as Magnus snapped his fingers, the silky material disappearing before his eyes. He leaned back on his heels to watch Magnus’ next move.

Magnus looked down at Alec, a shudder running through him when Alec’s thumbs caressed his hip bones. He stared into the blown pupils of Alec’s hazel eyes, watching as Alec licked his lips. Fuck, he wanted to shove his dick in that mouth.

Magnus snapped his fingers, another truffle appearing in his hand. He gripped it tightly, feeling it melt in his palm before trailed it down his stomach and over his dick, coating it in the champagne flavoured chocolate.

Alec wetted his lips before leaning up again, sucking the chocolate off Magnus’ stomach, letting his tongue dart into every crevice between the muscles. He groaned at the taste of champaign and Magnus, exploding over his tongue with every lick.

Magnus couldn’t breathe by the time Alec reached his dick, staring down at his Shadowhunter, Alec’s eyes never leaving his with every lick and suck of his skin. He couldn’t help it when his hands combed into Alec’s hair, pulling him closer, even with his hands coated in chocolate.

Alec let a small moan escape him when he felt the tug in his hair, uncaring of the truffle on Magnus’ hands. He trailed his tongue up the underside of Magnus’ hard dick, savouring the taste, watching as Magnus’ glamour fell away.

Alec sucked Magnus’ dick into his mouth, pushing down until it sat in the back of his throat. He swirled his tongue around Magnus’ dick, licking the sticky chocolate off it as he pulled back. He sank down again when Magnus’ hands tightened in his hair again.

Magnus had to let go of Alec’s hair when Alec pushed down on his dick again, gripping the edge of the countertop behind Alec when Alec pushed down with breathtaking speed, forcing his dick into the back of his perfect throat.

Alec might be a terrible cook but he could suck dick like a champion, Magnus thought, his chest rising and falling faster with every slow back pull, with every plunge of Alec’s head. His hips started moving, fucking into Alec’s mouth as he gripped the countertop harder. 

Magnus knocked a pile of radishes off the countertop as he gripped it harder, his knuckles turning white. He would have watched them roll across the floor if he hadn't looked down into Alec’s beautiful eyes.

Alec moaned when Magnus started fucking his mouth, breathing heavily through his nose to accommodate Magnus’ dick. He gripped Magnus’ hips harder, pulling him in faster with every thrust of Magnus’ hips. His knees were aching and he could barely fill his lungs but he couldn’t find it in him to care.

“Fuck, Alexander, I’m gonna cum if you don’t stop,” Magnus moaned. He reluctantly pulled back, pulling his dick from Alec’s mouth with a monumental effort and stared down, watching Alec fight for breath.

“You look so pretty on your knees but you look better on your back,” Magnus said, sinking to the floor and pushing Alec down onto his back. He straddled Alec’s hips and snapped his fingers, producing a bowl of whipped cream and strawberries.

“If we carry on like this, we aren’t going to have room for our stew,” Alec said, watching Magnus dip his finger into the bowl of cream and suck it into his mouth. Fuck! He brushed his hands up the inside of Magnus’ thighs, needing to touch him again.

“We’re just having our dessert first, Alexander,” Magnus said, scooping a strawberry out of the bowl and placing it between his teeth. He bent down, grinning when Alec wrapped his lips around the strawberry and bit half of it off.

Magnus chewed his half, swallowing it down before licking into Alec’s mouth. He invaded Alec’s sweet mouth, tasting the strawberry and the truffle and himself on Alec’s tongue, it was a heady combination that had him chewing on Alec’s bottom lip.

Alec groaned when Magnus pulled back, chasing his lips for another kiss. His stomach muscles contracted when Magnus dumped a spoonful of the cold whipped cream onto his stomach before dumping another spoonful on his chest.

Alec’s groan turned to a moan as Magnus set the bowl down on the floor and started to lick it off him. His hips bucked up into Magnus’ ass when Magnus sucked on his nipple. The movement of his hips became more insistent when Magnus started grinding down on his dick.

Magnus worked with Alec’s movements, pushing down every time Alec pushed up. He leaned up, claiming Alec’s lips as their hips continued to rut against each other, moaning into his mouth when he felt the cream smear into his chest.

“Magnus, my pants,” Alec gasped out between kisses, not knowing whether to laugh or cry when Magnus pulled back from the kiss and shimmied down his legs.

Magnus yanked at the buckle on Alec’s belt, getting his belt, button and zipper undone in 3 seconds flat. He pulled Alec’s pants and boxers down to his shins before he snapped his fingers, lubing them up and kneeling up on his knees.

Magnus reached around and opened himself up quickly, too desperate to have Alec inside him to do it slowly. He used his magic to help the muscle relax faster before climbing back up Alec’s legs again.

Alec watched Magnus’ face as he sank down on his dick, watching the perfect O form on his lips. He dipped two fingers into the cream, pressing them to Magnus’ lips when he was fully seated.

Magnus sucked Alec’s fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them as Alec practically fucked his mouth with his long fingers. He held Alec’s wrist in place, staring into his lust blown eyes as he bobbed his head on them, matching his sucks to the tentative roll of his hips.

Alec thought he would die right there on the kitchen floor when Magnus started to bounce on his dick, holding his hand in place to suck on his fingers and pinching his nipple with his left hand, it was the prettiest picture Alec had ever seen.

Magnus wasn’t sure why Alec loved his nipples so much but he knew it was the right move when he saw Alec’s eyes glued to his hand. He rolled his nipple harder, conceding that it did feel good. He was reluctant to let Alec pull his hand free until Alec grabbed his hips.

Alec ran his hands over Magnus’ hips, brushing his thumbs across his hip bones and skimmed his hands around Magnus’ back, grabbing Magnus’ ass. He opened up when Magnus leaned down to kiss him again, moaning into Magnus’ mouth.

Alec squeezed Magnus ass, pushing him down harder onto his dick with every downwards thrust of Magnus’ hips. His own hips started to lift off the floor, fucking up into Magnus’ ass every time he pushed it down.

“Oh god, fuck me like that Alexander, harder!” Magnus moaned into Alec’s mouth, pushing himself down faster on Alec’s dick. His hands were shaking, where he leaned on them against the kitchen floor and his thighs were jerking on either side of Alec’s hips but it only made him bounce faster.

“Magnus, do that prostate thing… the thing with your magic,” Alec gasped out, his chest heaving from the pace they set. He grinned when Magnus sat up, stopping the movements of his hips. He would have cried when Magnus pulled off his dick... if he didn’t know what was coming.

Magnus climbed off Alec’s hips with a grin, reversing his position and pushing Alec’s pants down to his ankles to give him room to let his legs fall further open. He snapped his fingers, pushing a pillow beneath Alec’s ass and repositioned himself on Alec’s dick, groaning as he sank back down onto it.

“Are you ready, Alexander?” Magnus asked, looking over his shoulder, grinning when he saw Alec nod so hard he thought his head would fall off. He snapped his fingers again, lubing them up and leaned forward, reaching down to rub at Alec’s asshole.

Alec had to fight his hips, to stop himself from thrusting up into Magnus’ ass when Magnus pushed two fingers into him. He held still while Magnus fingered his asshole open, moaning at the pleasure and the small bite of pain as his rim was stretched.

Magnus held his hand in place and started to bounce again when his fingers brushed over Alec’s prostate. He set up a steady rhythm of vibrating pulses, matching the bursts of magic to the downwards thrusts of his hips.

Magnus didn’t know who was moaning louder as each roll of his hips had Alec’s dick sawing at his prostate and every pulse of his magic vibrated into Alec’s. He watched the beautiful jerk of Alec’s thighs every time he sent another pulse in, cranking up the intensity every time.

“Magnus… I need… do the thing,” Alec said as he tried to fuck up into Magnus’ ass again. He groaned when his hips were pinned in place with magic, stopping his instinctual movements. He thanked the angel when he couldn’t move his hips, Magnus’ fingers no longer tugging at his rim.

Alec let out a low, drawn-out moan when Magnus’ magic started to draw out, the bursts getting longer and longer until they started to meld into one continuous assault on his prostate that turned his moans into whimpering, jerky cries.

“Faster, Alexander,” Magnus groaned when Alec grabbed his hips and started pushing him down onto his dick again, helping him bounce faster. His cries soon matched those of Alec’s at every scrape of his prostate. The pleasure had him losing focus.

“Oh… fuuuuck… I’m gonna cum!” Alec cried when Magnus’ magic hammered into his prostate. “Magnus… fuck… MAGNUS!” he yelped when he exploded into Magnus’ ass, barely getting through one orgasm before another one reared up. He screamed as he continued to fill Magnus’ ass, every part of his world fading into the pleasure pounding through him.

Magnus pulled his magic back when he came, his hips grinding in small circles as his dick jerked out his release, cumming all over Alec’s thighs. He grunted when the angle of Alec’s dick had it continually pressing into his prostate, drawing it out as he forced his hips to stay in place.

Alec pushed up when Magnus’ magic released his hips, small bursts of cum exploding out of him with every aftershock as his hips jerked up a couple more times before his movements ground to a halt.

“Fuck!” Magnus groaned as he pulled his fingers out of Alec and pulled up off Alec's dick, collapsing next to him on the floor. He opened his arm when Alec tugged at it, letting his Shadowhunter curl into his side.

“Fuck sounds about right,” Alec said as he nestled into Magnus’ truffle and cream covered chest, not giving a single fuck about the mess as they both fought to get their breath back, he wasn't exactly sparkling clean himself.

“I think your stew’s nearly ready, Alexander,” Magnus said as he sniffed the air, unsure if something has died while they had been fucking each others brains out. Maybe an old leather boot had fallen into the pot?

“Oh fuck, my stew!” Alec groaned as he heaved himself up off the floor. He dashed towards the cooker, grabbing the wooden spoon and giving it a stir, breathing a sigh of relief that it wasn't burned.

Magnus dragged himself up off the floor, snapping his fingers and cleaning them up in an instant. He grinned when Alec turned to him, just opening his mouth before he snapped his fingers again.

“I love your shirt, is that the one you were saving?” Alec asked when Magnus dressed them, eyeing Magnus’ fancy shirt. He watched Magnus scoop a few radishes up off the floor and throw them in the trash.

“Yes, Maryse should feel honoured, I don't break Dolce out for just anyone,” Magnus said with a wink. He pulled his 'M’ cup out of the cupboard and flicked the kettle on to make himself a cup of camomile tea, watching Alec pull an oven mitt on.

“You know what she's like, you could be wearing the crown jewels and she would still find something to complain about,” Alec said as he stirred the stew, adding some cheese. 

Magnus was just pouring the water into his cup when he saw Alec's “instructions”. He picked the stack of recipe cards up, flicking through them with dismay before his wide eyes darted to the pot.

Magnus read the title of each recipe in his hands, wondering if Alec knew they were different dishes or if he thought they were one big recipe.

Magnus finally understood why the stew smelled so bad. Stew, shrimp cocktail, jambalaya, quiche… on and on. Alec wasn't making a stew, he was making a 10-course meal in one pot... and he had to taste it. It was going to take every acting skill he possessed. Fuck!

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, so that's how it got there. looool
> 
> We have one chapter left, the chapter I reserved for my own kink!!!!! We will be going back to The Club where Malec put a little show on for the other patrons. (they won't be joined by anyone)
> 
> If I can't get it written in time, I will post another smutty chapter from one of my fic's tomorrow and post the last one of these on Friday along with the usual announcements


End file.
